going back to school after changing my mindset of no more examinations in my life,
i have to start back from square one.
making new friends and lots more modules to study.




going into a school and course where you know nobody.
going into a class without any orientation really worries me.
i wouldnt know whom im going to sit with for the 2 hour tutorial tomorrow.










i just hope for the best tomorrow.
hopefully my new classmates are nice and friendly earthlings.

What is hope.

It is also a powerful force that can move people.

Hope is what drives peasants to rebel against oppression.

Hope is what keeps explorers like Christopher Columbus sailing to the ends of the earth.

But most importantly to me is that.

Hope is what keeps people alive, in miserable conditions.

I had long forgotten how it affects were on people, as a person who draws from past experiences, I had believed from long ago that Hope is the first step onto a road to disappointment.

But today is a different story.

Today is a new dawn.

Today I believe.

Congratulations are in order.

YOU DESERVE IT!!!!!

the moment that i have been waiting for is here!
im enjoying every moment of it.
see you girls tomorrow.
YEAY!!!!!!!!!!
TEMASEK HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!

i hate it!
i hate YOU to be unfair so to me!


i am always in the wrong when YOU are the one who always make the mistake.
i am always in the wrong when YOU treat me unfairly.
i am always in the worng when YOU always pretend to be the nice one.


tell me now,
why should i be nice to YOU when YOU do all these to me?
tell me now,
why should i bother listening to YOUR advices when YOU YOURSELF tak betol?



FUCK YOU LAH!!!!!!
i really think all this is so UNFAIR.


in the first place,
i wasnt even in that FUCKING plan.
and here YOU come pretending to ask me last minute.
MY FAULT LAH?!?!
FUCK YOU LAH!!!!!!












p.s
dont mind the foul language up there.
im too pissed off.
really pissed off.
and this is not abt my bf.

life without anything to do is -________________-"
i can die any moment in this house without anything to do.
i am seriously in need of job.
i tried applying to few places but it seems that they wont be applying to me that soon though.
any of you have lobangs?

eversince ive graduated from school.
ive been going out with mr genius but to the same places.
because basically we are rushing for time.
and the previous anniversary is not what the both of us should be enjoying about.
but everything is good and fine now.

dayah, thanks for lending me your shoulder on that day ya.




to the person who have been nagging at me non-stop,
to the person who knows the best what i want,
to the person who have carried me in her womb for the whole 9 months,
to the person who have never stopped loving me since i came into this world.
(dont mind the picture. i look fat in this picture ok)





eventhough the present that i bought for you is not as expensive compared to what kakak and abang bought for you.
but i really hope you like it.

sorry for the lack of updates.....
because basically my wrist is killing me.
my friends will know what i am talking about.






i have a lump on my left wrist.
i dont know what's the cause of it.
the pain comes and go but this time the pain i cannot tahan already.
went to the doctor just now but he only give me freaking painkillers.
and now im typing with only one hand.
so when its better i'll update more kays.

i think you want the whole world to know that you didnt get to Poly,
then people will sympatise with you,
then people will say "you can make it one lah", those stuffs to you.

oh come on!
i FCUKING didnt get in to Poly also and i have to face more than what you have to face ok.
i have to face my mum who expects a lot from me.
i have to face my sister who always looks down me and "she's always the best".
so, who have to face the stress more?

i dont know why but i still feel sad over the results.
very sad.
really sad.
maybe its my own FCUKING fault that i get this kind of results.
but when i receive the results does any of my family members comforted me?
maybe im being too sensitive over this but wth! you get all the attention from them.

for now, all i can be thankful of is that i have a bf who was there beside me
when i need someone to cry on,
when i need someone to just keep quiet and feel what im feeling,
when i need someone to calm me down.

i know....
THEY will say that i dont have any Certificate of Merit but i can get Cerficate of Marriage.
SHE will say that i can never make it to Poly ah.
SHE will say that i am confident that i can get through to TP after i sent in the appeal letter and thats the reason why i dont want to appeal to other Polys'.

YOU think i didnt try my best in my last term of ITE.
YOU think i didnt study at all and only played around just because i have a bf?
YOU think that SHE'S better than me in everything.
no, ALL the people around HER thinks that she can do better than me.
why?
because she dont have a bf and i have thats why i cant succeed in my education life.





WHAT THE FUCK SEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok.
i dont know whether i should be pissed or whether i should be crying my lungs out again.

sometimes people just don't understand what you want.
maybe because you don't say it.
or maybe because that person just don't bother.










i feel like crying my lungs, heart and everything out.
because i feel dissatisfied.
and i don't think anybody can comfort me.










i've made you dissapointed with my results and i know you are not happy with it.












someone......
please take me somewhere that can distract me from thinking about this for now.
i have to face more of this difficulties on Friday.

ok-ok results but.........










i don't think i can go Poly.
how?
DIE LAH OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!